The pursuit of happiness, or why I've been getting it all wrong

Intended Audience: people looking for fulfilment in their lives

I have been in a season of making decisions, and today, I realized I've been doing it all wrong. The example I'm about to give may not resonate with you - you could be in a totally different phase of life - but in terms of the search for fulfilment it's the most pertinent in mine own, so stay with me.

THE CASE IN POINT

I've been thinking for some time now - about fifteen years, maybe longer - about What To Do With My Life. Here is a partial list of the ideas I've entertained and actually spent some time pursuing: concert pianist, novelist, doctor ('cause my dad is my hero), lawyer, truck driver, sailor/captain of a sailboat (Bring Me That Horizon!), rock and roller, preacher, missionary (check), President of the United States (when I'm feeling down, I settle for foreign diplomat), Hollywood actor, Navy SEAL, English teacher, professional triathlete.

Now, I am convinced I could do any of the above to the glory of God and know people in almost each of these professions who does or has done so. The problem isn't, therefore, that any one of these professions is holier than another. But this doesn't help me toward making my decision.

I'm also convinced that God has a plan for my life. One of the things I do in trying to make this decision, then, is look back over my story - the story he's been telling to me and through me - and try and look for clues as to what he's doing. This kinda helps me to narrow down the list and kinda doesn't. I'm just interested in too many things.

Well so in response to all this, I've done two things: 1) read, and 2) bore anyone who will listen (mostly my poor parents) for hours on end and then ask them for their advice. The books and articles all say something along these lines: 1) figure out what you wanna do and do it, 2) poor us (my generation talking to my generation), we have too many options, and 3) poor us (my generation again), we were told all our lives that we were special and unique flowers, that the sky was the limit, and we found out that's not true, boohoo, etc.

Number one is great advice, and that's what I try to do. (Numbers two and three are just complaints.) But there's still something bugging me, and so we finally get to it:

I've been doing it all wrong.

The issue here isn't the making of the decision. The issue is why I can't. (Or more accurately, haven't been able to.)

WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO MAKE THE DECISION

This is frustrating, because I've known this answer for ages - God has shown this answer to me in the Bible more than a few times - but I keep forgetting. Today, he reminded me again, and today, in an effort not to be like the man who looks at himself in the mirror and then goes away and forgets what he looks like, I'm writing it down.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

Translation: I haven't been able to make the decision because I've been hoping to be satisfied by whatever I end up doing with my life instead of being satisfied in Jesus. And I will never be satisfied by anything I'm doing if I am not first satisfied in Jesus. Because he's the only one who can satisfy. He's got the Good Stuff. And if I will be delighted in the Lord, if I can get my soul to really want him above everything else, all the rest falls into place.

[Post Text: Still doesn't answer the question about What To Do With My Life, but the answering of it becomes a whole lot more fun without all that needless weight.]