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Will Graham

How Far is Too Far?

Answering a tricky question.

FRESH BREEZE AUTHOR Will Graham 12 AUGUST 2017 10:20 h GMT+1

If I’m terribly honest with you, I am sick to the back teeth of a constantly recurring question that never seems far from the lips of Christian youth.

What is it? Let me spell it out for you nice and slowly: “How far is too far?” I confess I’m fed up with it. It bugs me. It’s just so wrong on so many levels. As I’m sure you’ll know, the question refers to how far we should go with our boyfriends or girlfriends.

The chief problem with this question is that it tries to establish how closely we can walk according to the flesh without actually sinning against God. But as we all know, sin is not the physical act in and of itself. As Jesus showed us so unambiguously in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7), sin is a heart-affair.

It stems from the hidden desires of our soul.  So in reality the question “How far is too far?” already reveals a sinful disposition. It is a carnal interrogation. How come? Let me offer you a simple example.

Imagine at your left there is a white pole with ‘holiness’ written on it. And then imagine at your right there is a black pole with ‘sin’ upon it. Now, what should the desire of the born again Christian be? Evidently to walk as close to the white pole as possible.

The passion of the believer- the true convert- is to be as near to God as is humanly possible; not to flirt about with the devil’s dirt. A regenerate heart seeks to be as far away from the black pole as possible because it hates sin. There is nothing more disgusting, repulsive and hideous than iniquity.

But the question “How far is too far?” is- in essence- a question stemming from a soul only interested in being as faithful to God as is necessary to get into the Kingdom of God. Such people want to walk as closely to the black pole as possible without being cast into eternal destruction.

This desire is not from the Holy Spirit. It is demonic reasoning. To even think like this is to spit in the face of the Lord. What flagrant ingratitude! The fact that someone would even think of asking this would leave me more than worried about their spiritual well-being.

Can such a question give God glory? I think not. Is not Christian obedience not meant to be a joyous, blissful and ecstatic mode of existence? What kind of obedience can be offered by people who want to know “how far is too far”? Slavish obedience! Unwilling obedience! Legalistic obedience! Religious obedience!

This type of obedience is no obedience at all because it has no heart, no soul and absolutely no passion for God’s glory.

Another comment worth making is that if you are a Christian- and you really love your boyfriend or girlfriend- then you will desire his (or her) sanctification above all other things.

Your dominant passion will be for your future spouse to reflect the glory of Christ. Therefore whatever you do to un-sanctify or de-sanctify him (or her) is a violation of true love i.e. Jesus-centred love.

Do you think you can truly love someone as a Christian if all you want to do is get your hands down his (or her) pants? I’m awfully sorry to tell you this: that’s not love. It’s damned and cursed lust. There is nothing remotely Christian about a relationship that works along these perverted lines.

I think I should direct myself here to Christian guys here. God will hold us to account for how we treat women. I met a lad who once told me with tears in his eyes, “I keep falling into sin with this girl. I just can’t resist.” Yes, of course he can’t resist because he’s a little boy and not a man.

He may have the body of a man; but he’s a weakling boy at heart. Men have principles and values. They stand up for their convictions. They are faithful to what they believe so that when Potiphar’s wife stands half-naked in front of them and no-one else is around, they run for their lives!  Marriage is for men and women; not weeny boys and girls who give into their hormones every time they start pumping.

And to finish up, let me direct myself briefly to all my Christian sisters out there. Respect yourselves as women. Don’t flaunt your body to grab a guy’s attention. Nobody falls in love with a doormat. If you want to act like a piece of meat, you’ll only attract dogs.

So if some supposedly ‘Christian’ guy only wants you for your thighs, your legs and your breast then send that devil to KFC. You are to have nothing to do with him. Keep your body sanctified for the man that God has prepared for you.

If God wants you to be with a man, He will send him. And when He sends him, you can be assured that he won’t be a lust-driven monster. He will be a man of God who will respect your femininity, show you Jesus so that- together- you can be a reflection of the true, pure and unadulterated love of God on the earth.




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Opinions expressed are those of their respective contributors and do not necessarily represent the views of Evangelical Focus.