ADVERTISING
 
Sunday, December 16   Sign in or Register
 
Evangelical Focus
 

 
 
 
FOLLOW US ON
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Google +
  • Instagram
  • Soundcloud
 

Newsletter
Newsletter, sign up to receive all our News by email.
 
 

POLL
Media
Do the media in your country usually portray evangelical Christians accurately?



SEE MORE POLLS
 

 
TOP 10 MOST VIEWED



René Breuel
 

Marriage is a call to transformation

Marriages can’t flourish out of self-centered postures.

CULTURE MAKING AUTHOR René Breuel 16 DECEMBER 2017 17:00 h GMT+1

This past month I read a fascinating book on marriage. It was the sort of pleasurable, impulsive reading you do not because you have to but because that’s the book you want to read right now. Reading for the soul.



It was a more personal kind of reading too, for I had the opportunity to first meet the author of the book during a visit to Lisbon in June. I took part in a conference which hosted two panel discussions on the spiritual landscape of Portugal. Tiago Cavaco spoke on both occasions.



He’s a curious figure at first – a pastor in Lisbon who is also a well-known blogger and leader of a heavy-rock band. This set of experiences grants him an out-of-the-box perspective, and it showed at the panel discussions: he poured forth fascinating insights and analysis which debunked stereotypes and asked still harder questions.



That’s a guy I need to know, I thought. Later we met, we exchanged our books, and I flew back to Rome reading and underlining his book on marriage.



Fascinating. In English its title would go something like Happily Ever After, and other Misunderstandings about Marriage. Each chapter deconstructs common conceptions about marriage, such as the moon is made of honey or marriage needs good husbands and good wives, and proposes a healthier view. Consider, for instance, this turning of the tables:




The happiness of marriage seems to be rooted in the capacity it has to transform us … more than wanting to make us happy, marriage wants to make us new… When marriage is valued for the transformation it brings, we stop having our spouse as adversary and start having ourselves as adversaries… it becomes a calling to my own transformation.[1]




This is such an insight. Marriages can’t flourish out of self-centered postures. However romantic the notion may seem, to hope that marriage will make us happy yet not transform us is impossible.



The happiness a good marriage engenders is precisely the happiness of transformation in the context of a bond of love. It is the difficult but ultimately thriving metamorphosis into a life lived in two, into being centered on the other, into seeing myself as the obstacle to be overcome.



The opposite posture – I’m in as long as this relationship is pleasurable but doesn’t ask much of me or call me to change – is the recipe for a me-against-you relationship where spouses don’t find the deeper waters of self-giving, sacrifice, and soul intimacy.



It remains a bond forged by shared duties and distractions. It remains a half-baked union of individuals reticent to let go of their autonomies. It remains a marriage based on a selective shadow of self-giving love. And that’s not much of a balm.




What marriage requires is a promise that we will be in the Future what we are not yet in the Present: spouses…. When we promise to be faithful to someone the most unknown person present is not the one to whom we promise: it is ourselves. We don’t quite know who will we be in the future and yet we propel ourselves toward it. Notice how daring that is. Or, from another angle, how creative. The Christian faith rests in in the confidence that men and women are called to make promises to learn something else about themselves.[2]




Marriage is a call to personal transformation.



[1] Tiago Cavaco, Felizes para sempre e outros equívocos acerca do casamento (Lisbon: Cego Surdo e Mudo Edições, 2014), 96-97.



[2] Ibid., 25.


 

 


0
COMMENTS

    If you want to comment, or

 



 
 
YOUR ARE AT: - - - Marriage is a call to transformation
 
ADVERTISING
 
 
 
AUDIOS Audios
 
Nominal Christianity, a mission field for the church Nominal Christianity, a mission field for the church

An interview with Lars Dahle, of the Steering Committee of the Lausanne Movement Global Consultation on Nominal Christianity held in Rome.

 
Ruth Valerio: A lifestyle that cares about creation Ruth Valerio: A lifestyle that cares about creation

Are Christians called to make a difference in environmental care? What has creation care to do with "loving our neighbours"? An interview with the Global Advocacy and Influencing Director of Tearfund.

 
Kathy Bryan: Online sex trafficking in the USA Kathy Bryan: Online sex trafficking in the USA

“Prostitution is nobody’s dream,  it’s a very traumatic lifestyle”, says Kathy Bryan, director of the Elevate Academy. She mentors former victims.

 
PICTURES Pictures
 
Bulgaria: Evangelicals ask government to protect religious minorities Bulgaria: Evangelicals ask government to protect religious minorities

Christians rallied in Sofia on November 18 to defend their rights. It is the second Sunday of peaceful demonstrations against a new religion draft law that could severely restrict religious freedom and rights of minority faith confessions.

 
Photos: #WalkForFreedom Photos: #WalkForFreedom

Abolitionists marched through 400 cities in 51 countries. Pictures from Valencia (Spain), October 20.

 
Photos: Reaching people with disabilities Photos: Reaching people with disabilities

Seminars, an arts exhibition, discussion and testimonies. The European Disability Network met in Tallinn.

 
Photos: Hope for Europe Photos: Hope for Europe

Unity in Diversity is the theme of the conference. Representatives of Evangelical Alliances and many other church leaders gathered in Tallinn (Estonia).

 
VIDEO Video
 
Bulgarian evangelicals ask politicians to defend “basic freedoms” Bulgarian evangelicals ask politicians to defend “basic freedoms”

Protests and prayers continue in Bulgaria for the sixth week.

 
What are the benefits of the whole family being on mission? What are the benefits of the whole family being on mission?

“We’re not taking energy from my ministry when we care for our family in missional kind of ways”, says President of Josiah Venture Dave Patty.

 
“We need prayers for Bulgaria” “We need prayers for Bulgaria”

An interview with Pastor Vlady Raichinov, Vice President of the Bulgarian Evangelical Alliance.

 
‘Mediterráneo’ ‘Mediterráneo’

“Something will change if you have hunger and thirst for justice”, sings Spanish artist Eva Betoret in a song about the refugee crisis.

 
 
Follow us on Soundcloud
Follow us on YouTube
 
 
WE RECOMMEND
 
PARTNERS
 

 
AEE
EVANGELICAL FOCUS belongs to Areópago Protestante, linked to the Spanish Evangelical Alliance (AEE). AEE is member of the European
Evangelical Alliance and World Evangelical Alliance.
 

Opinions expressed are those of their respective contributors and do not necessarily represent the views of Evangelical Focus.