Special needs dentist: Taking a chance that changed everything

We are fine tuned into James’ mood; sometimes something seemingly insignificant can escalate into something major if we miss it.

The other evening, James was sat with me on the sofa, we were watching TV and James also had his iPad with him; I noticed he was picking at his back teeth on on side of his mouth, a look of concern was on his face.

Suddenly, he grabbed my hand and was pushing my finger to the back upper left side of his teeth. He looked really worried.

I couldn’t feel anything unusual; I got a small torch and had a look, still nothing obvious, but James was insistent that there was something wrong. I got his toothbrush and tried cleaning his teeth, and this settled him for a while but then he started picking as his teeth again.

It was bed time, and having tried everything but failing to see what the problem was, I managed to get James into bed and hoped he would be fine in the morning.

However, the first thing that James did when I went in to wake him in the morning was to grab my hand and put my finger on the same place at the back of his teeth again.

My thoughts whirled as to what it might be… a problem with a wisdom tooth perhaps, or did he have toothache and after making it to 22 years old with perfect teeth now would need a filling?

It was time to take a chance…

We decided that we would take him out at lunchtime for his favourite McDonald’s drive through meal (chicken nuggets and fries, with zero-sugar sprite), eating it overlooking the lake at Poole Park with all the swans, geese, ducks (and loads of seagulls!). We then drove to the dental practice and parked right outside.

It was time to take a chance…

I went in an explained the situation, asking if James’ usual dentist would be willing to pop out to the car for a couple of minutes and take a look at James teeth (James can’t make it into the dental practice due to his social anxiety, but they come and examine his teeth in the car).

It was a big ask, and as it turned out it wasn’t possible for her to come out to see James as she had back-to-back appointments all afternoon.

In many cases, that would have been that, I would have been told to book an appointment for James in a few days time with all of the possible worry and upset in the meantime.

But that’s not how the story ends… it was time to take a chance…

The reception team knew how hard it is to get James to the dentist, and that as he was there in the car outside there was a great opportunity to try and get his teeth looked at there and then if possible.

They tried phoning the people that were coming in that afternoon, to see if any of them were unlikely to attend, creating space for James. No luck, everyone was coming to their appointments.

Then one of the reception team had another idea… it was time to take a chance…

Would James accept this new dentist after waiting so long, and let her examine his teeth? What would she find? We didn’t know, but it was time to take a chance

The dental practice only has two dentists that see adults with learning difficulties or disabilities, like James, but they also have dentists that see children and young people with SEND (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities).

One of the reception team checked the schedule and thought there might be a chance that one of the children’s/youth dentists might have a small ‘window’ that we could use… she went to ask… it was time to take a chance…

She returned to say that the children’s/youth dentist had agreed to come and see James’ teeth in about 30 minutes; great news! I thanked them profusely, and went back out to the car to wait with James and Clare.

Waiting isn’t something James enjoys, but we managed to keep him going until we saw the dentist and her assistant coming towards the car.

Would James accept this new dentist after waiting so long, and let her examine his teeth? What would she find? We didn’t know, but it was time to take a chance…

James did brilliantly; he let the dentist check his teeth, especially the ones that were where he had been putting my finger.

The dentist confirmed that there were no signs of any problems with his wisdom teeth, no cavities, no swollen gums or cheek, no indications of any significant problems at all.

She asked if James had been eating anything around the time all of this began; thinking back I remembered that James had eaten some popcorn.

The dentist felt this was what had caused the problem; probably a popcorn husk had got stuck between two of James’ teeth and was uncomfortable, causing him to get anxious and worried.

There was no sign of it now, probably washed away by a drink.

So often we might feel that it is too risky to take a chance for our child with additional needs; but sometimes we just need to take it

Huge relief as all our ‘worst case scenarios’ were removed, and a simple explanation identified. We may have been worrying for days until a formal appointment was available for us to be able to take James in… but we had taken a chance and now all was well.

We are hugely grateful to the Dorset Community Dental Service team for being so willing to work with us and be so flexible, taking a chance to help James.

Many would have sent us away to come back another day, but the team here showed wonderful care, compassion, creativity, and inclusion.

We took a chance, and so did they.

So often we might feel that it is too risky to take a chance for our child with additional needs; we worry about the response we might get, we wonder if we have enough emotional strength to try, we get anxious about getting our child there and being turned away, with all the upset that might cause them. But sometimes we just need to take a chance…

In our case, as we are people of faith, we prayed and trusted in God for the best outcome; but whether you have a faith or not, sometimes taking a risk, taking a chance, can pay off.

It did at the dentist with James; when will you take a chance on something for your child?

Mark Arnold, Director of Additional Needs Ministry at Urban Saints. Arnold blogs at The Additional Needs Blogfather. This article was re-published with permission.