Listen to the victims

There is a deep wound that cannot be seen. It does not appear in photographs of inaugurations, nor on brightly lit stages, nor in worship services filled with music and applause. It is the wound of those who once trusted their spiritual leaders and ended up being manipulated, humiliated, silenced or destroyed by them. Men, women, children, families torn apart by spiritual abuse.

One of the hardest aspects of these situations is seeing how those who wielded harmful power once again take to the stage amidst general approval or complicit silence. They set up new churches, conduct spectacular choirs, preach God’s love, receive official recognition from ‘the good people’, and host lavish meals to celebrate their own success. It is to watch as their reputation seems to be rebuilt whilst the victims carry on with their own lives, broken and rebuilt many times over in silence and solitude.

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Whilst some celebrate new ministry projects, others continue to grapple with anxiety, fear, loss of faith, trauma and wounds that will take years to heal

And then a question arises that burns inside: Who truly cares about the deep suffering, the hunger and thirst for justice for what they were put through? Jesus certainly cares.

For anyone who has suffered abuse of power, spiritual manipulation or any other form of mistreatment within a faith community, witnessing this scenario is deeply painful. It brings a sense of abandonment, injustice and invisibility. Whilst some celebrate new ministry projects, others continue to grapple with anxiety, fear, loss of faith, trauma and wounds that will take years to heal.

What is most disconcerting is seeing how other leaders—whether, I realise, out of ignorance of the full truth or perhaps due to other interests—support these individuals, offer them new leadership roles, present them as role models, or simply continue to attend their invitations and events. But they do not know the whole story. They have heard one version. They have never sat down to listen to the victims. They have never said to them: ‘Tell me your story.’ Tell me your side of the story. Before restoring authority to someone over others, or allowing them onto public platforms, it is worth asking a simple yet courageous question: ‘Have we also listened to the victims?’

For their holistic healing, the victims need to be heard and for the leadership to tell them from the heart: “Your pain matters to me”

Because the victims are here and they exist. Sometimes 30 years have passed and still the leadership has not sat down to listen to them. They bear the terrible burden of having been ignored, and worse still, the burden of not even having been believed, because the other person was ‘important and had an impeccable public image’.

And you were just one more sheep among a hundred, but not a lost one; rather, you were beaten, fleeced and forced into silence. For their holistic healing, the victims need to be heard and for the leadership to tell them from the heart: “Your pain matters to me”.

Genuine restoration can never be built by ignoring those who have been hurt. We must bear in mind their stories, their voices. Let them resonate in our consciences. Grace does not remove responsibility; repentance and forgiveness – which do not erase the consequences – do not replace accountability. If a Christian community wishes to reflect the character of Christ, it must be as concerned with the restoration of the one who caused harm as with the healing, justice and dignity of the one who suffered it.

Victims should never have to witness those who harmed them maintaining or regaining apparent human prestige whilst they themselves continue to struggle to regain trust in the Church and in people. And, sadly, sometimes in God.

Listen before restoring spiritual authority to abusers. Listen before accepting their invitations; do not be part of the complicit silence of ‘the good men’

To leaders who support or reinstate individuals facing allegations of abuse of power or consistent testimonies from multiple victims of abuse, I would ask just one thing: listen to the victims. Listen with integrity before making a decision. Listen before maintaining or restoring spiritual authority to abusers. Listen before accepting their invitations; do not be part of the complicit silence of ‘the good men’.

Because behind every failure to listen there may be one or more broken lives. And behind every ignored victim there is a Church that loses credibility.

The question continues to echo: Who listens to the victims?

May the answer be: I do.

Asun Quintana, evangelical pastor in Madrid and president of the Christian advocacy group Seneca Falls.